A Touch of Lousiness

17 Sep

Last night I sent the kids to bed early because I was tired. By 9 o’clock I was all snug in my bed. Definitely a good thing. I like sleep almost as much as I like chocolate.

All week I’ve been fighting a lousy cold. Then I went and got a flu shot which added to my general feeling of lousiness. Since I wasn’t really that sick, I kept pushing myself and basically overdid it. Hence the tiredness. I no longer have the stamina I had before breast cancer. Maybe I’ll be stronger when I stop taking tamoxifen. I hope so. I don’t like being a wimp.

When I first started tamoxifen, I experienced awful side effects. My oncologist prescribed various medications to offset the side effects, but those medications had a long list of their own side effects. I was pretty much a mess. During that time, I caught strep throat. But I was already feeling so lousy that I had no idea I was sick on top of everything else, so I didn’t see a doctor and didn’t take antibiotics. By the time I saw my oncologist again, the strep throat had progressed. He chewed me out for not taking better care of myself. I looked at him like he was a crazy person. I mean, here I was trying to survive breast cancer and he was worried about a little case of strep throat?

Looking back, I suppose he was right. I do need to be a good steward of my health. That means I have to take breaks from time to time. You know, cuddle up on the couch and read a good book. That can’t be all bad, right? And maybe, just once in a while, I should make sure I’m all tucked into bed by 9 o’clock.

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One Response to “A Touch of Lousiness”

  1. writergirldreams September 18, 2010 at 12:49 pm #

    Hi Jill,

    Poor baby, first of all, pat pat, and yes this has been a huge huge lesson for me. I sometimes wonder is this part of what allowed cancer to overtake my previously lifelong healthy resilient immune system? That I did not put myself and my physical and mental health at the top of my list, instead always focusing on taking care of everyone else? Family, friends, coworkers, even the family dogs were always the highest on my list, not even sure if I was on my list.

    One of the silver linings of breast cancer is that I have been the most selfish and self interested that I have ever been in my life! It is paying off and I don’t know why I did not always live this way. I guess never trained to. My training involved taking care of everyone, starting in childhood, being seen and not heard, being the good kind obedient girl and caretaker.

    It took BREAST CANCER for me to get it, but honey, I get it now. Got it big time.

    Nothwithstanding all the people and pets I love so much, I have to love me most.

    Yes, being a faithful kind loving steward to my own physical and mental health and my soul is the center spoke of the wheel for me now. Everything has to come from this centered place.

    Take care of you, continue the cuddling yourself, it is the greatest gift you can give to the people you love and who love you.

    hugs girl, hope you feel better.

    Oh, one more thing, I don’t know how wordpress works, but in my blog under the design section of the blog, I can add a gadget that is my blog list. There is also a place in my profile to add blogs I am following. Hope this helps. Check out all the gadgets you can add to your blog. They are fun. I am still learning!!

    wgd

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